Valentine’s Day is the perfect mix of romance and humor. While it’s a day to celebrate love, it’s also a chance to share a laugh and keep things lighthearted. These funny Valentine’s Day quotes are ideal for adding humor to the holiday, whether you’re single, in a relationship, or somewhere in between.
Here’s a collection of 101 funny Valentine’s Day quotes to bring some laughter to your love life!
Related: 65+ Love Quotes for Him to Melt His Heart
Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes About Love
- “Love is being stupid together.” – Paul Valery
- “If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?” – Lily Tomlin
- “Valentine’s Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don’t have a special someone, you’re alone.” – Lewis Black
- “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” – Dr. Seuss
- “Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” – Jules Renard
- “Valentine’s Day is the perfect reminder that love is blind… and expensive.”
- “I love you more than coffee… but not before coffee.”
- “Roses are red, violets are blue, love is sweet, and so are you… most of the time.”
- “Being in love is like having a relationship with your Wi-Fi—when it’s strong, you feel invincible.”
- “Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” – Joan Crawford
Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes for Singles
- “Who needs Valentine’s Day when you’ve got pizza?”
- “Valentine’s Day is just a reminder that I’m awesome and don’t need anyone to tell me that.”
- “My Valentine is my bed. We’ve been in a committed relationship for years.”
- “I’m single because I haven’t found someone who deserves me… or my Netflix password.”
- “Being single on Valentine’s Day is just proof that self-love is real love.”
- “Cupid called—he’s taking a year off for me.”
- “Who needs chocolates when you have fries?”
- “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single and fabulous, and so are you!”
- “Valentine’s Day is for couples; the rest of us will just keep eating.”
- “My ideal Valentine’s Day? Netflix, snacks, and no drama.”
Related: 65+ Thank You Quotes for Friends, Family, and Loved Ones
Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes About Relationships
- “Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.”
- “A perfect Valentine’s Day would include chocolate, wine, and no one asking me where the remote is.”
- “Love is like a fart—if you have to force it, it’s probably something else.”
- “If we were on The Bachelor, I’d definitely give you a rose… but only if you brought snacks.”
- “Relationships are just two people asking, ‘What do you want to eat?’ until one of them dies.”
- “My partner has a Valentine’s gift for me—it’s called putting up with me.”
- “Love is sharing your fries… even when you really don’t want to.”
- “Happy Valentine’s Day to my partner—who still loves me even when I steal the covers.”
- “True love is when your partner knows your coffee order by heart.”
- “Love means never having to say, ‘Sorry, I ate your dessert.’”
Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes About Chocolate and Gifts
- “Forget love—I’d rather fall in chocolate.”
- “Roses are red, chocolates are divine. Be my Valentine and share yours with mine.”
- “Whoever said money can’t buy love clearly hasn’t bought enough Valentine’s chocolates.”
- “On Valentine’s Day, chocolate calories don’t count—love makes them disappear!”
- “All I want for Valentine’s Day is a box of chocolates I don’t have to share.”
- “Love is sweet, but chocolate is sweeter.”
- “I told my Valentine I didn’t want anything, and now I’m worried they actually listened.”
- “Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to buy yourself a gift and say it’s from Cupid.”
- “This year, my Valentine’s gift to myself is unlimited snacks.”
- “Cupid is cool and all, but where’s my chocolate delivery service?”
Related: 65+ Crave You Quotes to Express Deep Love and Passion
Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes About Marriage
- “Marriage is spending the rest of your life finding out where the other person left the remote.”
- “Happy Valentine’s Day to my spouse, who still tolerates my nonsense.”
- “Marriage is telling your partner you don’t want a gift, but secretly hoping they get one anyway.”
- “Valentine’s Day in marriage is just another excuse to ask, ‘Where should we eat?’”
- “Marriage is when you agree to annoy one person for the rest of your life.”
- “Love is blind—marriage is the eye-opener.”
- “You know you’re in love when your spouse lets you have the last slice of pizza.”
- “Happy Valentine’s Day to my forever Valentine—and my designated blanket thief.”
- “Marriage means agreeing that the thermostat is never set to the right temperature.”
- “Love is sharing your Netflix password—marriage is remembering to log out.”
Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes About Dating
- “Dating is like Valentine’s Day—you never really know what to expect.”
- “Happy Valentine’s Day to the person who puts up with my bad jokes.”
- “Love is sharing your fries—dating is arguing over who gets the bigger half.”
- “Dating is just two people trying to impress each other until they stop pretending.”
- “My dating profile says, ‘Will trade chocolate for love.’”
- “Being in a relationship means spending Valentine’s Day figuring out what they really want.”
- “Valentine’s Day while dating is basically an Olympic event for gift-giving.”
- “Cupid is probably out there laughing at all our awkward first dates.”
- “Dating on Valentine’s Day is 90% choosing the right meme to send.”
- “Dating someone who loves pizza is the real Valentine’s Day win.”
Related: 65+ Funny Coffee Quotes to Perk Up Your Mornings
Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes About Reality
- “Valentine’s Day is the one day you can eat all the chocolate and blame it on love.”
- “Reality check: Cupid’s arrows are just overpriced roses and fancy dinners.”
- “Love isn’t all roses and hearts—it’s also leaving the toilet seat up.”
- “Valentine’s Day is the Olympics for florists and chocolatiers.”
- “If Valentine’s Day had a slogan, it would be ‘Overpriced and Overhyped.’”
- “Love means laughing together when Valentine’s Day dinner goes horribly wrong.”
- “Let’s skip the dinner reservations and just order pizza—true romance.”
- “The reality of Valentine’s Day: chocolate wrappers everywhere.”
- “Valentine’s Day cards are just greeting cards with extra glitter.”
- “Cupid must be exhausted from all the unrealistic expectations we place on him.”
Tiny Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes
- “Valentine’s Day: where love meets chocolate.”
- “Cupid called—he’s out of arrows.”
- “Valentine’s Day: the reason I own so many candy wrappers.”
- “Love is sweet, but dessert is sweeter.”
- “Roses are red, wine is too—cheers to Valentine’s Day!”
- “Valentine’s Day is proof that love has a sugar addiction.”
- “Chocolate speaks louder than words on Valentine’s Day.”
- “Cupid is just a fancy name for a chocolate dealer.”
- “Love is complicated, but chocolate is simple.”
- “Valentine’s Day: where calories don’t count, but feelings do.”
Related: 65+ My Kind of Love Quotes to Express Your Unique Feelings
Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes About Self-Love
- “My Valentine this year is myself—at least I know what I want!”
- “Self-love means buying your own chocolate and skipping the drama.”
- “Happy Valentine’s Day to me, myself, and I!”
- “Who needs a Valentine when you’ve got Wi-Fi and snacks?”
- “Self-love is treating yourself to the best Valentine’s Day gift ever.”
- “This year, I’m celebrating Valentine’s Day with self-love and extra fries.”
- “Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to pamper yourself.”
- “Dear self, you’re doing great—love, me.”
- “Self-love means never having to share your dessert.”
- “Be your own Valentine—it’s way less stressful.”
Final Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes
- “Valentine’s Day is about love, laughter, and not sharing dessert.”
- “Love is patient, love is kind, but Valentine’s Day is just expensive.”
- “Cupid might miss, but chocolate never disappoints.”
- “Roses are red, violets are blue, I forgot to buy a gift, but so did you.”
- “Love is grand, but so is sleeping in on Valentine’s Day.”
- “Valentine’s Day is like a rom-com—funny, but also slightly unrealistic.”
- “Happy Valentine’s Day! May your day be as sweet as your candy stash.”
- “Valentine’s Day is for the brave and the chocolate lovers.”
- “Roses are red, chocolate is sweet, and Valentine’s Day means extra treats.”
- “Let’s make Valentine’s Day fun—it’s cheaper and less stressful.”
- “Cupid is great, but chocolate is forever.”
Final Thoughts
Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be all serious and romantic—adding humor makes it even more memorable. These 101 funny Valentine’s Day quotes bring laughter, joy, and a lighthearted perspective to love and relationships. Whether you’re spending the day with your partner, friends, or just treating yourself, let these quotes remind you to keep things fun and playful.
Because at the end of the day, love and laughter are the perfect pair.
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